people amaze me.

you hear someone has cancer and you usually say, "aw, that's too bad, i hope they make it, " i know few people who care enough to put forth and action. people i haven't seen in four or five years have asked to drive to sherman and sit with me. parents of my friends have offered to be take me to chemo, if my mom has to work, which she needs to because my parents are going through a divorce and she has to cover whatever our insurance doesn't. my principal and teachers, who despite the fact i'll miss ridiculous amounts of school still want me to graduate like i am supposed to. my friends, even the ones who don't see me everyday and live miles away, have made the effort to text me constantly checking in on me and seeing if there's anything to do. so many people have put me in their thoughts and prayers. i believe in a higher being, not exactly sure who that is, but he's amazing. i've always known i was loved, but i had no idea this many people were truely concerned with whether this cancer will leave me on this earth in a few months. i feel like one of the luckiest and most blessed people in the world.

from what i know now, i'll be fine. it's at least stage two, but treatments are very positive at all stages, almost 90%. i'll go through chemotherapy, i may lose some hair, i may not, but i'll be okay because everyone around me is there for me.

Mom, why?

You always said we girls could do it on our on, that we didn't need a man to make us happy. You're a hypocrite, your life with me and my sisters is something you have to fake enjoying, the only time you're ever really happy is when you're hiding in your bathroom talking to that man. How do you think this makes us feel? I'm really scared I'll never want to talk to you once we both leave this town.

oh and

it's not that i hate you or think you did a terrible job raising me. but i think you should realize that when you had us your commitment was to be my parent forever, not until i turn eighteen. i want to be near my sisters next year, sell the house and realize that this man will not make you happy. if you move away you're turning our relationship into what you and your mother had. i want you to be happy, but learn to be happy without my dad before you jump into another relationship.

You loved my legs